i used to think “almost” is the saddest word in the dictionary. i almost won. we were almost there. they almost got married.

and then, last january, i almost died.

and i realized, almost isn’t always that bad. we all have our almost moments. not because we didn’t deserve them, or we weren’t ready for them… but because it’s not yet the right time.

there is always a reason behind every “almost.”

sometimes, when i remember you, i’d ask myself, “will i ever find someone like you?” and my answer is no… i will never find someone like you… i will find someone better than you….

remember that time when we went out drinking and the bar was closing and still, we didn’t want to go home yet? you were about to take me home but you changed your mind and we sat just outside the bar and watched people pass by along edsa. and we made up stories about every person who walked in front of us… that was fun.

remember that time we were attending mass and the priest said something in his sermon and as if on cue, we looked at each other and smiled, trying to suppress our laughter. we didn’t have to say anything to each other to make each other laugh. that was fun.

remember that time when we were about to sleep but you weren’t sleepy yet so you kept on talking and talking. when you sensed that i was about to doze off, you decided to play a game. “pahulaan tayo ng kanta,” you said. you knew singing was my weakness and that i was very competitive so that kept us awake the whole night. until we heard the sound of the first trip of mrt. that was fun.

remember that time when you waited for me while i was in a meeting at 11pm in starbucks abs? and then we walked from abs-cbn to mister kebab quezon ave and i treated you shawarma because you wanted to bring me home. while we were eating, you told me something you’ve never told anyone — it’s about you and your father. and then you said, i was the only person who had known you completly and asked, “meron ka pa kayang hindi alam sa buhay ko?” that was poignant.

remember that time when you told me you were in love with someone else. and when i asked you why, you said it just happened. and then i couldn’t stop myself from crying and all you could say was, “i’m sorry…” that was painful. really painful.

i guess it’s really true… the one who brings you happiness the most is the one who can hurt you the most.

it’s a nice site to read letters from people wanting to move on and let go… mine got published on march 29, 2010 :)

“wish i could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you,” - rihanna, ps im still not over you.

there are times when i’d look at your multiply account and check your latest posts and everytime, i’d say, “tangina. mukha siyang masaya…”

okay. you win. i’m accepting it — you are happier without me. while i am still thinking about you…

damn.

Your Song presents ISLA. Airs on March 21, 3pm at ABS-CBN